开头先问你一个问题:
你有没有写过这样的句子?
> “The meeting was conducted by the manager in order to discuss the issue.”
读起来累不累?像不像在嚼一块没放盐的馒头?
其实,好英语不是越长越高级,而是越准越有力。今天咱们就拆开“写作风格的意识”这个听起来有点玄的概念,用两个新手最容易上手、也最立竿见影的抓手来聊——一个关于“动词”,一个关于“删减”。
为什么动词是英语写作的“心脏”?
很多人一写英语,下意识就找“be动词+形容词/名词”这种安全牌:
- It is important to…
- There are many reasons why…
- The report was written by…
这些结构本身没错,但高频堆砌,会让文字失去呼吸感。
举个真实例子:我帮一位大三学生改过一段自我陈述,原句是:
> “My responsibility was to help with the organization of the event.”
改成:
> “I coordinated volunteers, scheduled speakers, and redesigned the registration flow.”
变化在哪?
- “was to help with the organization” → 三个主动、具体、有画面感的动词(coordinated / scheduled / redesigned)
- 字数差不多,但信息密度翻倍,人设瞬间从“打杂助手”变成“项目推手”
? 记住这个小口诀:
- 少用“is/was/are/were + 名词/形容词”结构
- 多问自己:“我当时实际做了什么动作?”
- 动作越具体(比如用“pitched”代替“talked about”,用“overhauled”代替“improved”),风格就越鲜明
删减,不是抠字,是给句子“松绑”
英语母语者写东西,有个隐形习惯:能省一个词,绝不留两个。
不是追求极简,而是避免让读者在一堆“填充词”里找重点。
来看一组对比(来自真实学生作业):
? “Due to the fact that the data was incomplete, we were not able to make a final decision at that point in time.”
? “Because the data was incomplete, we couldn’t decide.”
少了12个词,意思没丢,反而更利落。哪些词最常拖后腿?
# 这4类词,建议新手先“拉进黑名单”:
- 冗余短语:due to the fact that → because;in order to → to;at this point in time →
now
- 空泛名词:make an improvement → improve;have a discussion → discuss;give consideration to → consider
- 弱动词+名词组合:carry out an analysis → analyze;put forward a suggestion → suggest
- 无意义修饰:very,really,quite,basically,actually(90%的情况删掉更稳)
小测试:试试把这句话“clean up”:
> “She is a person who is very passionate about teaching and who really believes in student-centered learning.”
我的改法:
> “She teaches with passion and centers her classroom on students.”
你看,删掉6个词,加了1个动词(centers),风格反而更笃定、更可信。
风格不是天赋,是可训练的肌肉
我带过不少零基础成人学员,有人第一篇作业满屏“there is/it was”,两周后就能自觉把“there is a need for…”改成“we need…”。靠的是什么?不是背规则,而是建立“手感”——就像学骑车,先扶着练,再放手试,最后不用想也能平衡。
所以别怕改稿子。
- 第一遍写,想到啥写啥,先完成;
- 第二遍改,专盯“动词”和“删词”这两项,用红笔圈出来;
- 第三遍朗读出声——拗口的地方,八成就是风格卡壳点。
我自己现在写邮件,还会下意识停顿一秒:这个词,能不能换成更活的?这句,有没有多出来的“空气词”?
写作风格的意识,说白了,就是开始对每个词负责。不求一步登天,但求每次落笔,都比上一次更清醒一点。
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